Laura's recent post got me thinking about my own life and how my fitness or drive doesn't "fit" or is not understood in my circle of (supposedly) good friends and family. She recently spoke about how she's trying to eat healthy and live a corporate consulting life, that people don't "get". She gets semi-picked on or chastised for trying to choose healthy options at team, dinners/outings. That is the rough of it.
She got a comment that goes like this: From Julie. "And, yes, I've found people can go either way: they support you (and, in many cases, are inspired enough to start making better choices for themselves) or they trash you for trying if they're threatened. Thankfully, most people are either the former or neutral."
I wish the crowds I run with (figuratively speaking here, of course), were at least neutral. Seriously, here lately that's come up with me and I just need to talk about and since my husband is out of town, and my daughter hears "yada, yada, yada" from me while watching Spongebob or Dora, I'm letting loose here. My situation though isn't about food choices, but about my active lifestyle. I workout a lot - Well, to people around me - of course, not to you bloggers. I swim at lunch, or run, or cycle so I can spend more time in the evening with my family and I don't get asked to lunch "because you're always working out". Okay, no biggie. I understand that. But, just the other day a few people I work with ganged up on me and my workout dedication. I was picked, poked and prodded quite a bit, to where I felt tense. What made me feel a bit on the defense was that 4 people at one time were chastising my commitment to working out, bashing me like the paparazzi do Britney. I ended up saying something to the effect that "I'm committed to fitness so that I can set an example to my daughter and so I can have a possible life expectancy higher than most". At one point, I did let loose that I workout more than all of them combined and at that point, I became "holier than thou". What?? That's what I was told. I wish I wouldn't have said that. I think the conversation ended with the possibility is higher of me loosing my life way earlier than normal cause "someone will run me over while I'm out riding or hit me while I'm running on a sidewalk". Huh???? You've got to be kidding me. I made sure that once the conversation was over, It was back to normal.
MOST of our friends (not including those of you online, of course) and family couldn't care less about what David and I are doing to improve our fitness, and in return improving our lives. Not just the races, or the distances we cover, but even the fact that David was picked to be on a sponsored team. For his 2nd year ever of competing in triathlons, he's hanging with some of the best of the best in SC on a team. This is part of our lives and something we enjoy. I mean, look at my calendar. Do you think I care about what I'm doing? So why is it that it seems people want to care about you, just NOT what's important to you, if it's not understood by them. It's easy to find that connection with those that you have something in common with. I really try hard to understand or have some sort of compassion for what a friend/family member of mine enjoys/loves. After all, if I care about them, I should care about their lives as well.
People don't get it, so they tend to talk down to you to make them feel better. Unfortunately, I've either had the feeling of when I'm talking passionately about an upcoming race or one that just passed, that I get the blank stare, the I hear blah, blah, blah, stare. OR, I'm told not to talk about it, in which this shuts me down, not just with the conversation but I shut down in talking about myself at all. I know I take it personally, but it IS personal.
All this venting, and I had a positive experience the other day with this very subject. While at my Aunt's house, I brought up that on our upcoming trip, I will probably be taking my vehicle so I can take my bike with me. This started the triathlon/racing conversation with the ladies in my family. They were asking questions, and my Mom, even though she knows nothing about triathlons except it involves the 3 sports, was so proud of David and I. She talked about how "we do these things all the time (she meant races), etc and kept going about it". I know she's my Mom and wouldn't expect anything less, right. After all, I'm her favorite daughter. :-) I don't expect that reaction from everyone, well no-one else, for that matter but it made me feel good, that even though she doesn't understand it, she cares about us - therefore, she cares about what we care about. She's also started a workout routine, which I'm very proud of her for doing so. Amazing!
I have come a long way, and know I have a ways to go. After having Grace 3 yr 3 mos ago, David and I sat on the couch all the time for a long time. We did no fitness whatsoever. I don't know what lit our fires, but somehow we got off the couch and started working out. In 2006, we including most of my team at work, signed up for a local 5K and that's what got us going. I used to run up to 10 miles years ago in the Navy while I was on Active Duty, but when I started training for the 5K, I had to start all over. And now, it's about showing Grace that she can grow up with fitness in her life instead of years down the road, having someone other than us tell her she needs to add fitness to her life. It will be normal for her to workout and make her body healthy. I wish I would have had someone while I was younger to get me to do some 5K's, or kids triathlons, or whatever. If so, I think I could be a whole lot further than I am now and know that I would be better at what I enjoy.
Yesterday, I went out for my run at lunch and tried to do some fartleks from what Ashley suggested the other day. I ventured out to do 3 miles, and it's pretty flat for us. It's also heavily traveled, so I thought I'd run street to street at a higher turnover. I'd run a little, then back off and so forth. I quickly became tired, as I suppose you're supposed to feel. But, at one time during a pick-up pace I looked down at my watch and saw a time of about 7:58 pace and that made me smile. Now, don't expect to see any outrageous times in my run, because like I said after 3 of these I felt spent. I did about 2 more after I turned around at 1.5 miles. I would, however, hope that soon I can have a run where I'm not running in 15mph winds. Geesh.... I'm going to keep on, keeping on. :-)
Run - 3.15 miles 30:07 (9:34 /mi)
Basically, all this venting (sorry for the long post) had me wanting to say that I'm glad I've found all of you. Each and everyday that I visit your blogs, I'm touched, inspired, enlightened, humbled, and pushed to improve my physical ability. Everyone one of you help and guide me in some way. That's why I stalk your blogs. :-) The comrade here in this virtual world is amazing and I've met some fantastic friends through this blog. I sometimes feel like, other than a select few in my life here, you all understand and "get it".
